I have Collette Gee with me on the show today and I can't wait to share this badass shero with all of you.
Collette is a relationship and dating expert, a certified violence prevention specialist, and the author of a new book called Finding Happily: No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending – a badass shero by any other name.
Collette set out on this badass journey after she was in and out of unfulfilling (and at times violent) relationships.
“It took me a long journey to find this place ... I was out there looking for love for all the right reasons in the wrong places, and the one place that I failed to look was within me.”
And I can 100% relate to that journey only because I've also gone through a lot of unfulfilled relationships (a beautiful and useful phrase that Collette employs). The relationships I had before my now husband were actually reflections of my pain, more so than my desire, my pleasure, or the growth path that I wanted with a partner in life.
We all want love, and we all deserve love – but we have to find it in ourselves before we can find fulfilling relationships.
And you can see this in practice in Collette’s coaching. “Rather than helping a client or helping someone by giving them advice or my point of view, what I like to do is help a person go within because the answers already exist there.
“It's not for me to tell. It's for me to elicit the right questions so that you come up with the answers that already exist within you.”
And honestly, nothing empowers you like finding the answers within yourself – and this can be especially beneficial when you’re left feeling powerless after an unfulfilling or abusive relationship.
Finding Happily: No Rules, No Frogs, and No Pretending
Over the years, Collette has read every dating and relationship book out there: He’s Just Not That Into You; Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man; The Rules; Why Men Love Bitches; and on and on and on.
“I was trying all these things, and I was going to these gurus that were telling me that I had to change the core essence of who I am.” But there was nothing wrong with Collette, just the way she was perceiving life – and these books sure didn’t help with that.
That’s why Collette’s book isn’t another one of these how-to guides that over promises and under delivers. ”This is a book just like every other story that takes you back to your childhood.” It’s full of once-upon-a-times, stories about Collette and other women in her life. And in these stories, you may find yourself and learn how a badass woman like you has overcome her dating and relationship challenges “to find her happily.”
Disney taught us that we’d meet our knight in shining armor that would rescue us, sweep us off our feet, and deliver a happily ever after... but for some reason, we never experience that. The truth is that the Disney stories are only ever the beginning of the story, and they don’t show the real journey of a relationship. Happily ever after is a journey.
You can find your own happily – and that perfect partner – but it starts with searching within yourself for the answers that will empower you to own your badass.