I had been sitting in the Achievers Dilemma, until the Pandemic. The pause on the push, and ability to work with new coaches and healers allowed me to discover something new about myself and squash the habits that no longer served me, and create new ones. As an over achiever, I lean into achievement when I want to avoid my true desires, especially when they feel completely "off course" from what I set out to do. That is the easiest way to build a life that you truly don't want and doesn't fill you up. Of course the achievements help you look good from the outside in. We all know that the when we are not fulfilled on the inside, the rest is irrelevant. You know I am all about raising your fulfillment factor, but what I recently learned about myself helped me solve my Achievers Dilemma, which I want to share with you in case you are feeling stuck and underwhelmed by your choices.
I have huge pride in my achievements. I am not going to play that down here, because I believe we should celebrate all that we accomplish. I had a vision before achieving each one and when it comes to execution, I would say I have mastery in figuring out the how, because I became a master of how at a young age. I got praised for being a good girl and finishing things. I am grateful for this dynamic skillset of achieving through challenges and lack of belief from others because it is the foundation of the strategic work I do with my clients that has helped me build my business today. It is what I enjoy the most in my line of work because it is the highest form of how I can serve others. Getting here, however, definitely challenged my health, my relationships, and how to be present.
See the Achievers Dilemma is feeling like whatever you accomplish, it is never enough. Even in my first book Be A Badass, I share the tools on how to visualize and achieve, I even reiterate celebrating each accomplishment, however an over achieving mind feels anti-climactic once the achievement is met regardless of the celebration at the end. This had been a major struggle for me until I learned how to solve the dips and the heights through methods of centering myself and leaning into desires more than accomplishments.
Now don't get me wrong, I still focus on achievement, but what I had to learn is how to enjoy the journey more. Learning about my Human Design working with Erin Claire Jones, I realized one major thing about myself, I don't sit in vision work enough. I had mastered "doing" that I produced half baked visions that still garnered great success, but always left me feeling like something was missing or it was not enough. When I realized I was a Manifesting Generator, it made complete sense why I can visualize solutions for other people's challenges, then map out a strategy, and help them execute it, because that is how my mind works. When it comes to the vision of my life, business, relationships, and impact I want to leave, I realized I have short cycles with 1 year ahead in mind, and never allowed myself to go further. I was suffocating my true vision with short term bursts that never painted the full picture.
NO WONDER I NEVER FEEL SATISFIED! (slap to forehead)
I have been working on this concept of sitting in my vision for longer before I take action, and it started with a lot of discomfort. As an achiever who has pride in her accomplishments, I did not know how not to jump into doing. I seriously was uncomfortable and needed to figure out a way to sit in my vision and find a way to act in my vision without the push of achieving it until I felt the vision was 85-95% baked. As a realist, I have to leave major space for error and the ability to pivot. Doesn't have to be 100%. In the past I would maybe get to 25% and then jump in. This is progress.
The methods I use to act in my vision are:
I find joy in the doing. I had to become more purposeful in my doing to life my level of fulfillment. Achieving just to achieve isn't enough anymore. This realization has made me feel more aligned and connected to my work, my relationships, and myself. My vision for impact is HUGE and I am allowing myself to take the time to shape it, step into it with ease and allow myself to enjoy the journey more. I know it will be accomplished because I see it so clearly now. The best part about this phase is that I am kinder to myself and listening to my desires. If you are an over achiever who has a low level of fulfillment in your life, I encourage you to take a pause and sit in your vision for longer, let it rise up and start to articulate it. Keep refining it until there is nothing else you can think about and then take action towards it. You have mastered the how, now focus on mastering how to visualize and manifest the life you really want. Your vision commands it.