It's ok, you can laugh out loud, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is also true. It wasn't always my stance to welcome rejection, or the fearful NO! I used to worry so much about what the response would be from others when I would put my work out there, that the rejection or critical comments used to cripple me. And then I realized that truly, it was fuel to help me overcome what was holding me back.
See, when we get rejected and hold on to the rejection, it is generally because we believe we are not good enough at whatever we are attempting to achieve. It's the negative story we tell ourselves to hold back and live smaller than our gut tells us is possible. Rejections also show us how passionate we are about what we are doing or desire. See, if your reaction to a No creates a visceral in your body to anger or sadness, it just proves how bad you want it.
Your mind says things like,"How could they say No, don't they understand how right this is? Don't they see that this is what I am meant to be doing? Why don't they understand?"
Your body says things like, "Feed me sugar, I am depressed, I can't believe they said No!" Maybe that is only my reaction, but your body tends to go into flight or fight when rejection hits regarding something you are so passionate about.
When I start to have emotions around the No, it means I need to get introspective. See a great sales tactic that I learned as I was building up that muscle because I knew it was one of my weakest links in building my business, was learning how to detach from the outcome and welcome the No. Each No I receive will get me closer to the YES. Detaching myself from the outcome helped me realize that the No is not about me or what I am putting out there, it is about that particular person's needs and it just not being the time right now.
Similar to the job hunt, when you work hard to put your resume together, get references, have worked a certain number of years in the field, have the expertise, go through the interview rounds, and feel like it is a fit. Then the call comes that they accepted another candidate, it can feel crushing. You can feel defeated and stop trying, or you can realize that if they said No, then they were not right for you either. We have all been through it.
Start-Up founders go through it all the time. They put their ideas together, and need funding before it is even ready to sell just to get their baby on display. Each founder has an attachment to what is being built and sold because it is their concept, their idea, their dreams funneled into a business venture. The attachment is real. This type of attachment can create amazing products, but create hindering blinders when it comes to selling that product if you are not open to the rejection and take time to understand why it was not accepted.
The No is real, the reaction to the No is totally in your control.
Here is a quick trick to check yourself to see if you are attaching way to much to the rejection and how you can move forward quickly for it.
Gratitude: Thank the rejection for happening because from it you will grow.
Understanding: Ask this of the rejecting party to better understand the No: What three things would need to happen in order for you to say Yes? This way you have learning you can leverage for your next attempt.
Tweak and Move forward: Edit, update, clarify, enhance whatever you were doing from the prior rejection to apply to the next
The No's await you! Put yourself out there and see how many you can get and keep moving forward! This is your life to design as you see fit, don't let the limitations of others hold you back.