Comparison, Over-achievement and Being Kind to Myself: A Lesson in Self-Mastery

As a self-help, personal and self-mastery junky, I am always looking inwards to see what I can do better, how I can be better, and how I can serve others by sharing what I know.

I am currently working on a “lessons learned tell all” book and am getting flustered because I am focused on making sure it has impact. Here’s the truth: Doubt creeps in and whispers to me that maybe sharing my story doesn’t matter. I am trying to be OK with that, but while the overachiever in me has been dulled down, the impact warrior has risen.

“If I think about what drives me and what makes me excited to get up every morning, it is the opportunity to help others have their breakthrough moment and jump into action.”

After listening to a podcast where Lewis Howes interviewed Mel Robbins, I was instantly excited to hear someone like me has found success through her own self-development. She has impacted so many lives sharing what she learned and that gives me hope that this effort is not for nothing. I need that hope in this laborious process. I’m suffering because it is happening at a pace where I know can’t go any faster, but dream it could.

Do you ever find yourself wondering why things are taking SO long? For those of us overachiever types, this is a funny predicament because we really have achieved a ton, but it’s never enough. We reach for the next thing, pushing to make it happen… and then we start beating ourselves up and comparing ourselves to others.

Letting Go of Comparison

I literally just had the line for Game of Thrones go through my head, “A Girl is No One.” Oh, Aria Stark, what did you get yourself into? It flashed through my head because I am feeling inadequate when I compare myself to the other amazing talents in the world driving impact. I’m so inspired by these leaders! Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, Oprah, Gary Vee, Tim Ferris, Ellen, Tina Fey - they have all worked so hard to get to where they are and I am in awe of their self-mastery.

I hear the words flow through my head: “A Girl is No One”, then immediately hear, “Because she is everyone”.

It gives me an inner perspective that reminds me that my story is so relatable. There is nothing super unique about me, my woes, or my triumphs. The difference is that I have a strong desire to help others unleash their inner bad ass. If they choose to utilize the methods I have for success, they will get there faster, and, most of all, not suffer longer than they have to.

I am so connected to the power of my pain I can see it with ease. I have mastery in empathy and how to leverage my understanding of other people’s needs and what holds them back. I can uncover it without them feeling so much fear around its presence, allowing them to jump into action and breakthrough. I have been doing this since a young age and it’s become like a superpower. I have the opportunity to now share that and it excites me beyond belief!

When I was younger, I thought I was responsible for others and would do things for them in response to their pain. This did not have the long standing impact it could, so I learned how to let go of taking it on myself. I learned to say ‘no’ and how to ask others for help. I learned to help others identify what they were capable of and help them build up their confidence to know their boundaries and area they desired to grow. Because of my self-empowerment, I can now teach others how to empower themselves.

My Impact Because of Self-Mastery
My four decades of learning and the desire to continue to learn is what I want to share. How I did it, who I leaned on, and how I continue to grow so I can be the best version of myself, is the impact I bring.

It is not easy to share all sides of me, but I believe that is also part of my self-mastery. I face all of it so I can live in my truth and grow from there. I am so grateful for the masters before me who were brave enough to share their story and partner with the best of the best to bring it forward with ease. My hope is to have impact on that scale and learn more from each person I interact with. And, my passion and desire is for you to grow in your personal development as well as we move through this journey together.

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