How long do you allow yourself to sit in disappointment? What are the benefits and the drawbacks of sitting in it? What happens if you sit in it for too too long?
As together as my life might look, I have had several bouts of depression, self sabotage, doubting my worth, my skills, and ignoring my true desires because my disappointment stems from the inability to please another and holding their reaction, judgement, and criticism over my belief in myself and my capabilities. Sound familiar?
You know the state of living when you are following, conforming, and lying to yourself to belong. It’s amazing what one of our core human needs allows us to do to ourselves. The desire for connection can either break us into pieces or make us whole. But unless you know yourself first, and take care of you from the inside out, each connection, effort, and attempt to belong will be built on a broken foundation.
As I look at disappointment today, it empowers me. I see disappointment as a trigger to up-level myself. It reminds me of what I really want, and shows me that what I am doing matters. The difference is, I only pay attention when the disappointment is in myself, against my personal points of measure, not anyone else’s measure of me. That's powerful!
This is probably the hardest muscle to build and maintain in your mind. That’s where disappointment can fester or be released with ease. Through self development practices I learned who I wanted to be and how to let go of carrying the demands of others on what they thought I should be. One of the best growth spurts I could have ever learned, and lean into today to manage my personal and business decisions.
The most valuable thing to remind yourself of as an adult is that you always have a choice on how you want to show up in this world. Learning how to manage disappointment along the way can propel you forward towards that ultimate vision with ease.
So here’s a practice on how you can put disappointment in check, leverage it, and empower yourself!
Ask yourself where the disappointment is stemming from, is it in yourself or are you carrying the disappointment of others about your life? (Mine vs. Theirs)
If it’s theirs, thank the disappointment and give it back energetically to the offender by saying in your mind, “You are not mine to carry, you belong with your owner. Bye bye!”
If it’s yours, ask yourself why you are disappointed and write out or talk through what you hoped it would be. And why was that result important to you?
Then ask, what did you learn from trying? What would you do differently next time? Is it worth trying again?
The benefits of disappointment in ourselves shows us what we really want to go after, and if you really want it you will go after it again and again!
When you let go of the disappointment from others and their story replaying in your life, you discover who you truly want to be and go after it.
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