A few weeks ago, I attended The Bliss Project by Lori Harder and had an amazing personal opening that I want to dialogue with you on: Building a tribe.
Each of us, no matter how far back we choose to look into our ancestors came from a tribe. The way each tribe shows up in life may be different but the foundation is the same: a place you are connected, contribute, and belong. As women in these tribes, we bound together to make sure everyone felt safe and was taken care of. We leaned on each other while the men were out hunting to provide for us. It is a primal skill to connect and care for each other and our children.
As we evolved and grew in a modern society, when our men had to head out to war, and the workforce shifted, and we had to step up, and not only take care of our family, but provide for them as well, a shift occurred. A more masculine stance appeared in women and felt really good to be able to do more, be more, and see that we are able.
My generation of women were raised by women who took this new found power and instilled in us that we must find ways to take care of ourselves. Claim our independence and not have to rely on a man to provide for us. As I recount my own personal story of stepping into a masculine energy and ignoring my feminine side for majority of my 20’s, so I could prove to myself that I can make “it” happen and provide for myself, I see how I fell into a trap of isolation and feeling like I had to do it all alone. I lost my connection with my tribe for my own personal gain.
As I am building my new business and life in my 40’s, with all these lessons learned, I realize based on some deep rooted level that I have been running from building a tribe because I had been disappointed more than uplifted with the groups I tried to be a part of. I also have a tendency to move a lot, so how could anyone rely on me. I shy away from group think, and tribal connection because I did not want to be responsible to play my part.
Can you feel the barriers climbing around me by these mindset choices of self-preservation on a belief that is so not true? This mindset created where I stand today, doing a lot alone, and moments of only putting one foot into the circle when it came to opportunity to connect, because I didn’t want to be depleted.
The crazy thing is, if you are in my inner circle, and have come to my house, sat with me, connected with my other friends at one of my events, or watched me from the outside, you would probably think I have the complete opposite life. Perception is amazing, isn’t it. I have mastered the art of loving myself first, so my comfort with self is so strong, that the moments I share with my community, I continue to give. I now realize that in order for me to build the life I truly desire and a thriving business to serve others, I must build my tribe. I need to figure out reciprocity at its highest form, and learn how to master the language in reciprocity; the integration of giving and receiving on a consistent basis.
My family bloodline goes way back into tribal Bedouin ways, that I know is where my characteristics for inclusion, building spaces where people can come and share, and holding space for them comes from. I also have two sisters and was born into a female tribe with their continued support and love, no matter what. That created the ease of building solid female relationships in my life.
I am now realizing the power in my inner circle, when I receive the gifts of tribal support, and perspective in all that I do. I am eager to learn how to cultivate and continue to stay open to building the tribe around me that I can play an equal part within and grow together.
“You don’t have to do it alone, Kareen.”
Is the message that has been coming to me day after day since this new year started. Being part of this event with Lori’s guidance, and her tribe of powerhouse men and women who showed up for us, showed me, it is possible to build and nurture the tribe I desire, I just have to step into it. Now, more than ever, I think we all need to revisit our roots and build tribal support around us.
So here is what I want to discuss, what are you missing that could be filled by someone else in your life? What are you seeking support on that could be taught to you by someone else in your life? Who do you surround yourself with that allows you to be true to your gifts and shine in each moment that you breath and each action you take? What would it feel like to have consistent guidance, and support in achieving and living the life you desire? What would it feel like to have certainty that when you fall, you can trust you will be caught by your tribe to sway with you until you are ready to get back up and step forward again into your greatness?
As I embark on my desire to build up my tribe integrated in my leadership style, business and personal life, I will share my journey and would love to hear if this topic speaks to you, how you would like to be supported.
And as always, I love being a part of your Badass Journey! Please do not hesitate to reach out, and share your stories with me. You are not in this alone.
Lori Harder is releasing her book, A Tribe Called Bliss, this May. Pre-Order today and buy 2-3 copies for members of your tribe so you can grow together. I can't wait to get my copies!