Are you ready for some soul surgery today?
Tracy O'Malley is a multi million-dollar entrepreneur, speaker, author, friend, and, foremost, someone that walks alongside me. She is a world-renowned recovery coach who has helped thousands of women recover from addiction and thousands more address the feeling of overwhelm that causes them to look for an escape from their daily stress and anxiety.
Tracy’s badass journey has a lot of ups and downs – from an abusive childhood to multiple business successes to hitting rock bottom through her own struggles with addiction and pulling herself back up – and I just love how she communicates her story, and the way that pain helped her, ultimately, heal and transform.
So, if you find yourself connecting to Tracy’s story, understand that you’re not alone on this journey; there is appropriate help out there, and there are so many different ways to navigate when you face dysfunction, or dissatisfaction, or triggers that put you on a path of discomfort. You can actually reframe it, do some soul surgery, and rebuild yourself.
The triggers and coping mechanisms we have today almost all came from our childhood. Tracy was conditioned to deal with stressful situations in two ways: either by tucking, rolling, and running like hell or leaning into substances, whether that’s sugar or alcohol.
Tracy was four years old when she experienced “the first hit to [her] soul." It was when she heard the story of the day she was born. The doctor came in, told her dad that he had a daughter, and her dad said, "You know what, you can keep her. I don't want her."
It was a joke – “however, my little four-year-old brain, from that moment forward, interpreted that one sentence as, ‘Wow! I'm not going to be a boy. I'm going to need to be as close to perfect as possible to have approval, love, acceptance and value.’”
But the biggest soul hit that came when she was 10. The fighting between her parents had become violent. Other people at school would get excited about Fridays, but she would be filled with dread. It was always worse on the weekends. Then, she was sexually assaulted by a stranger.
But a glimmer of hope came from an unlikely source. Because, at the same time, the world was being introduced to a woman named Oprah Winfrey. Tracy lived in Chicago, so they were getting an early taste. “And I remember watching her before getting ready for school in the mornings,” Tracy says. “But then, there was one pivotal moment for me, and this was game changing. She started talking about her history, and her childhood, and the immense abuse and trauma she experienced. And I looked into the eyes of that woman and knew that this is all going to matter.
“And I don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't know how, but I'm going to do what she's doing. I'm going to use my pain to help other people. And in the process, I'm gonna heal and change my path.”
Running Only Gets You So Far
Tracy still had a pretty long and bumpy road ahead of her, though. She was 19 when her parents got divorced, and on the same day it happened, her dad introduced her to his married girlfriend. She was pissed and she knew she needed to get out of there.
So she met a guy and, at 21, got married and moved to Arizona. “I thought that I could outrun, outlast, outwit, outsmart, out-think my past and just put up shop in a different location and that everything would be okay. And for a little while, it was.”
They started a car transportation business together, and working in that industry really took a toll on them and their relationship. After 10 years, she had to get out of that situation too. So she sold the business and, the next day, received three job offers at executive level positions in the car industry.
And she crushed it, but she also crushed her soul in the process.
Her alcohol use accelerated. Within two years, she went from being a weekend drinker with blackouts to a four-night-a-week drinker with blackouts. She became exactly what she grew up with.
She eventually got to the point where she needed “to wipe out my own hard drive and completely start fresh.” So she quit her job and went to rehab.
Slowly, Tracy’s life started to turn around. Tracy started her network marketing business the morning she picked up her 6-month sobriety chip. In two years, she made her first million.
She regained the trust of her kids. She worked on herself and rebuilt herself out of pain – and now she helps others do the same. She performs “soul surgery,” using a no-nonsense approach to demolish generational patterns and change old habits steeped in shame and guilt so people can live emotionally free lives in their health, business, relationships, and parenting.
If you connect to Tracy’s story, but you don't have someone like this in your life, someone who helps guide you to your true authentic self, it's critical that you find that person. You have a choice to truly design this life the way you want it to be. You have a choice in what you show up in day.
It's just a matter of leaning in to the willingness to change, or to make a difference, or to reframe the story. But you don’t need to know how to do that yourself – there are people out there who can offer you support.
Check out Tracy's Soul Surgery Group Coaching Program
Learn more at http://tracyomalley.com/
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